Crash (semi-lucid)

What I remember of this dream goes like this:

I was somewhere with a few other people (no one I particularly recognized), looking out over a pretty wide open area. Next thing I know, we’re all looking up at a jet – like an Air Force type jet. I kind of felt like we were watching it do maneuvers or something, because it stayed in our field of vision for the most part, I mean it didn’t just fly overhead and then out of sight. And I don’t know if were gathered specificially for viewing this jet, or if it just happened that the jet was flying in our area. I felt like I knew at least one of the pilots.

At some point, we saw two paratroopers appear from the jet (!) even though it was a jet – and one guy’s chute didn’t open and he plummeted to the ground without a sound. Oddly, none of us really paid attention to the plummet. I watched, though, as he made impact with the ground. Since it was a dream, his body just sort of landed hard, rather than the impact being a bloody horrid scene. He was deciseivley dead. All we seemed to do as watchers of all this is become a little more concerened about everthing. I was beginning – as the dreamer – to realize that this jet scene could go bad, like maybe you’d think at an air show. Worse, I wanted it to go bad. I wanted the scene to become disaterous.

I looked up again at the other paratrooper. His chute was open and everything seemed fine. Except the plane came dangerously close to him as it was flying around and the “wake” of air behind it sort of threw the trooper around in the air and shook the chute. So he was in danger of not surviving this jump too. I thought, how careless of the pilot(s).

My attention then went to the plane. It was trying a new move that involved diving down from a high altitude and then pulling out of it (new to one of the pilots, anyway). During the dive, I watched closely in case something went wrong. I wanted to see a crash. I never expressed it to the people I was with, but I secretly wanted to see the site, and hear the crash, and the screams of the people around me. I wanted mostly to absorb the huge flash of emotionality that wold radiate from such an event as a whole…the pure alrm, an the pure fear that would explode from the pilots and radiate outward blindly until it would reach me and I would sense it from my safe vantage point. As if that would be their life force – exploded from them before impact. That moment that could never come again for the pilots where finally as hiumans they realize what pure energy is, and that they in fact are made of it, and now their fear has radiated it from their bodies and it is the last thing they will experience. But at that instant, when they are bracing themselves and pushing back into their seat as if their valiant strain would lessen the inevitable impact, before the full radiation, it is horror. Nothing more becaue there isn’t time for more. But in this dream, I wasn’t in the cockpit. I was safely outside, willing the crash. I was hoping to experience the crash without any investiment, and hoping to steal a little of the “power” that is generated the moment before impact. . I don’t know if I could actually absorb it, but I would be able to feel it, and even though this desire wasn’t explicit in the dream, it was the undercurrent.

But the plane hadn’t crashed yet! It was still trying to pull out of it’s decent. Somehow we all knew that something was going wrong, and the other part of me – the dreamer of this dream, was pushing it that way. Eventhough something seemed wrong, the plane was able to swoop horizontally again and zoomed to the other side of the house (Mom and Dad’s?) to where we couldn’t see it. I was disappointed, thinking I wouldn’t see it crash. And doesn’t that figure?

While the plane was out of sight, my dream attention returned to the paratrooper who had landed now, right by us, on my side of the line of people I was a part of. I gues he landed hard too, but he sseemed mostly ok. He was dazed and was in shock. I felt this surprising desire to tend to him. The dream had seemed to be about the plane and the one pilots and a crash – the jumpers were very secondary. That I wold want to take time out in the middle of FINALLY potentially witnessing a crash was the surprising part. But once I saw this guy, I wanted to take care of him. It wasn’t some hurt person that I was wanting to help, as much as it was THIS individual that I found compassion for, and wanted to nurture. He could have stubbed his toe, and I would have been compelled to help him somehow. So it was more than the good Samaritan thing. I suppose he could have been me…he looked like me in some ways. I seemed to “know” him through his eyes, but never actually looked at them...I can’t even say what color they were, but there was a vulnerablitily related to them that I didn’t feel in the dream otherwise. I was pretty emotionless and nonchalant thru everything until I began to care for this guy. So I directed his care. The main aspect of his “care” in the dream was that I got him a blue blanket. He was freezing from shock. In the dream, I saved his life but this too was not explicit. He eventually came around and realized what had happened – about the time the plane came back into view from behind the house.

It was flying extremely low and only a few feet from the side of the house. I thought it was crashing into the house and would take all of us with it! But it missed. The crash I had been hoping for was inevitable now. It plowed into the earth for a long way, making a long line. But I was feeling so emotionless and numb again that I wasn’t able to really absorb it. There didn’t seem to be any “power”, no radiating fear, and by now, no one was surprised. I stood beside the paratrooper and we watched it all. He was now the only survivor of this crew. I could sense emotionality coming from him, but I remained the same.

That was the end! Thanks for reading.